magic on sunday: rummaging

whenever i’m home at my parents house i sort through relics of my past.

there’s a ton of photo albums with captions that only an 11 year old could compose (“smile, it’s the last day of school!!!”), boxes of notes from pen pals, best friends, and ex boyfriends, piles of mix cds, and a trunk full of college t-shirts that once symbolized so much of my identity.

i watched an old home video of christmas from when i was 3 or 4 years old. because my family lived overseas (we were in guam at the time), we’d record our christmas mornings and send the tape to our grandparents in maine. this mini meghan had so much unadulterated joy as she tore open a present, proudly showed it off to the camcorder, and exclaimed in an outdoor voice, “thank you santa i love it!” i watched that video laughing and crying at the same time, feeling so in awe to be facing a version of myself that once only knew happiness without a shred of self-doubt.

rummaging through these things and revisiting these memories feels odd because while it’s familiar, it’s also so foreign. like peering into a part of yourself that faded along the way.

one of my favorite places to be is a museum because you’re surrounded by work that someone was vulnerable enough to create and thrust into the world - it’s one of the most inspiring things i know. in a way, taking a trip down memory lane was like visiting a museum of myself. seeing all these parts of me that i used to exude wholehearted.

coming face to face with it, i'm going to work on closing out the year digging through the archives and polish off some of my forgotten pieces.

magic on sunday: 11.26.17
you push i'll go - baby dayliner, alex sanchez
instant dissassembly - parquet courts
run - jeff cormack
get started - young fathers
forget me - born ruffians
surrender - josh white
dream cave - cloud control

until sunday,

meghan

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