magic on sunday: threw myself for a loop
i ended up having a conversation early this week that i wasn’t sure i wanted to have, mostly because i didn’t have clear thoughts on what i actually thought or felt or wanted to accomplish.
but i had it, despite being terrified by the understanding that it could ruin something wonderful. and it’s for that very reason that i found myself sitting in a coffee shop silently crying because i was confused and thinking about all the worst case things that would come from this conversation where i didn’t even know what i was trying to say.
the conversation, i should clarify, was via text and it lasted over an hour (because hello 2017?). it was followed by phone call a few hours later, in which i cried again because i felt so confused as to what i was even trying to communicate and was scared that even entertaining it would…i don't know, ruin my life? not really ruin my life (i like being dramatic), but i was so focused on the potential negative outcomes of it that i couldn’t see around to the other side.
between then and now i read a quote (posted by some girl on instagram w/a glamour photo selfie… why do people do that?) that helped me kind of snap out of it.
if you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another.
the universe has no fixed agenda. once you make any decision, it works around that decision. there is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience. -deepak chopra
it’s crazy that i was putting so much dread into something that 1 - i was unsure of and 2 - was/is not the end-all-be-all of anything significant.
if you’ll let me be dramatic again, this idea kind of changed my life in a perspective shifting kinda of way. like, all of a sudden i can see this in a whole other light. and thank goodness, because i was tired of crying.
magic on sunday: 06.04.17
i’m a pretender - the exploding hearts
hewlett daughter - grandaddy
automatic stop - the strokes
if you met her - palehound
hug of thunder - broken social scene
minnesota - the brittanys
unconditional - nick mulvey
until sunday,
meghan
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