There’s a callus on my right ring finger that I’ve had for about thirty years now. Smooth and slightly indented, it’s just a part of who I am. When I close my eyes and think about its origin, I’m transported to my early days of learning how to write, and more specifically, hold a pencil. My nextdoor neighbors were a few years older than me, and one of them - either Bryna or her sister Becky - held her pencil in a very particular way that I learned to emulate.
Instead of holding it the “standard way” that most people are taught, holding a pencil with your index, middle finger, and thumb, I held mine with my thumb wrapped around my index and middle fingers and my pinky and ring fingers tucked neatly below the pencil.
My dad and my teachers tried endlessly to get my hand to conform with repetitive practice worksheets and those little rubber pencil guiders, but years later here me and my right hand are, defiant.
I’ve never really thought about my callus much because most of my work that would require writing is done via a keyboard, and I’m really good at that thanks to Mavis Beacon.
But that changed a bit this January. I said in my first newsletter of the year that I was “...thinking about what it would look like for me to intentionally notice and chronicle all of the little moments that actually make up my year.” One way that that has come to life is via daily “field notes” in my journal, which was inspired by something I read like 10 years ago in Austin Kleon’s book Steal Like an Artist. He calls it a log book, but the principle is the same:
It’s not a diary or a journal. It’s a book of lists. The lists are simple facts.
Why not just keep a diary?
For one thing, I’m lazy. It’s easier to just list the events of the day than to craft them into a prose narrative. Any time I’ve tried to keep a journal, I ran out of steam pretty quick.
But more importantly, keeping a simple list of who/what/where means I write down events that seem mundane at the time, but later on help paint a better portrait of the day, or even become more significant over time. By “sticking to the facts” I don’t pre-judge what was important or what wasn’t, I just write it down.
Sitting down at the end of each day and reflecting on its activity has been really fun, and more importantly, a reminder that life is actually really happening in all of the little moments in between the big milestones. It’s also made my callus more…prominent? Anyways, here’s a few things that I’ve noted in January:
the variety of people I observed in the ER
how good it feels to sleep in until noon
they day I spent talking to friends for over 3 hours on the phone
recaps of some of the various coffee shops I spent time working in
meeting / making a new friend in my neighborhood (!!)
all the interviews I’ve had
how happy and excited my nephew was when he got to sit in a firetruck in Miami
the deliciousness of a cuban cafe cortadito
a review of Bill’s infamous black bean and broccoli quesadillas (a household staple)
disbelief/excitement that Westville is coming to Williamsburg
anxiety ordering pizza at 9:30 pm on a Sunday evening
getting to catch up with my cousin on the phone while walking in the park
how good I felt not having IG on my phone for most of the month
all the reading I did this month (I’m reading Spare, sue me, I like it!)
feeling “meh” about the Hopper exhibit at the Whitney, but loving being there
walking on all the sunny sides of the street when the temperature was brutal
being moved by the power of Nan Goldin’s documentary that I saw at BAM
feeling proud of myself for turning down an opportunity that asked me to take a pay cut (don’t ask Black women to take a paycut, we already make less!)
the delight of hanging out in my old neighborhood and walking through my old grocery store
These moments kind of mean everything and nothing, but this is life, ya know? Someday when I’m in my 90s and hopefully only a little less active, I want to be able to look back and be able to say, That was a nice life.
Get this week’s playlist here.
I hope wherever you are that you’re warm and cozy, friends <3
Meghan